the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
