why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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