dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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