It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
