so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
