It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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