Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
