I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize