plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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