I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
