Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize