im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
