return my video game
Barsexuality is the new black.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
