It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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