he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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