dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize