what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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