when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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