i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
