I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How naked do you want me to be?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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