i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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