I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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