It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
