My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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