She said her name was "party"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
