just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
