I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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