Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
