Whod you bang
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
