I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
