seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
