he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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