If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
