Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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