I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think your dad took our porno
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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