i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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