How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can I color on your dick again?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
