I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize