I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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