I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
