need another drink. this is the easiest way
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i believe in u and ur pee
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
