I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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