Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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