First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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