Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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