yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
