How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
