it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
please don't ironically join a cult
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