I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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