he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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