can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
