if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
