Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
