so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
