So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
