areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize