I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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