how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
