I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
