Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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