Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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