I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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