I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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