I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
