I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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