we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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