just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
