I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
