i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
