what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
