I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
