yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
