Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
